About

+ What did the subject(s) of the book think of it?

Well, Mum isn’t here to tell me what she thinks about me writing a book about my memories with her. I like to imagine that she would be proud of me. I think she would say, “Oh Kimberly, you’re an author now.” And then her signature, “I’m proud of you, Kimberly.”

I told Nia and Imani that I was writing the book. They were excited and told me they thought it was a great idea and that I portrayed the great woman that Mum was. I like to think that Mum would feel honored that I sat down to commemorate her loss in this way. It took a lot of planning and execution to bring this to market. I hope that Mum feels as though I did her memory a great honor.

+ What surprised you the most?

What surprised me the most was how easy the words flowed and how the chapters came together! When The Love I Shared With The Mother Who Wasn’t My Own; A 2021 COVID_19 Pandemic Memoir went through its developmental edit, I only got few remarks on the storyline. I was impressed with myself that it came together that easily.

It took a lot of strength to write this book. I also think the courage I had to write this book and see it through the editorial process, reading each chapter one by one, reliving each chapter on the day it was assigned, took a lot of courage. I was surprised I kept going some days. Each new milestone completed was a shocker for me, to be honest. The day I filed for copyright I remember thinking, “I just did that.”

Even if this book only sells five copies and I get one thank you, I will know that I have done my part in making one woman stronger through my story. That alone would surprise me! There are a lot of surprises that come with being a first-time author that I am noticing with each new step in the process.

+ What do you like to do in your spare time?

Writing would be one of the things I love to do! As you all probably already know, I'm also a mom, so I enjoy spending time with my daughter doing all the things the season has to offer.

I had a goal of reading 100 books this year. Some of the books I have read so far include Letter to my Daughter by Maya Angelou, Becoming by Michelle Obama, Business Made Simple by Donald Miller, One Million Followers by Brendan Kane, Things I Wish I Knew Before My Mother Died by Ty Alexander, foreword by Tia Williams, How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen, Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy, and the list continues. I am currently on book 77!

Many of the books, not intentionally, turned out to be excellent research for when I wrote, The Love I Shared With The Mother Who Wasn't My Own; A 2021 COVID-19 Pandemic Memoir.

I also like trying new things. I'll try anything at least once, except in the food department. If I can't identify what it is, it can't go in my mouth.

I am also gearing up for my second book, Worlds Orphan, due to be released in early 2022, along with pursuing a degree in Healthcare Management full-time.

+ What does the title mean?

The title, The Love I Shared With The Mother Who Wasn’t My Own; A 2021 COVID-19 Pandemic Memoir, refers to the love I shared with Donna Cardwell, who would become known to me and my daughter ‘J’ as “Mum.” I met Mum when I was fifteen years old. From the moment I met her, I knew she was the type of mom I could only aspire to be if I ever had children. Mum was loving, understanding, giving, and the most admirable woman I have ever met in my life.

Losing Mum was the most significant loss I had ever experienced when I lost her. I had learned so much from her. When I lost her, instantly I was pulled into a deep state of depression and feeling of being alone. It took me a long time to figure out what my next steps were going to be.

Weeks of sitting on the couch, losing myself in my thoughts, and crying endlessly were all I remembered. COVID-19, the silent enemy, had taken Mum. And so quickly at that.

The title, The Love I Shared With The Mother Who Wasn’t My Own; A 2021 Covid-19 Pandemic Memoir, commemorates the love Mum, J, and I shared throughout my life knowing of her. It details the sudden aftereffects COVID-19 has on the families it leaves behind, some of the things I did to overcome the grief, and the realizations I encountered from that grief.

+ Was the character in your book inspired by a real person?

Yes, the main character Donna Cardwell was inspired by a real person that my daughter ‘J’ and I referred to as “Mum”. Mum was my golden ticket and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a redo at having a loving and caring mother that asked for nothing in return. Mum shared with me a kindness that few will ever experience in their lifetime.

I can honestly say, if it wasn’t for her, I would not be the person I am today. We lost Mum to the COVID-19 virus on May 22nd, 2021. I can never forget this day. I was in New York City while Mum was fighting for her life. The rapidness of the COVID-19 virus will never be forgotten by me.

In 48 hours, my life as I once knew it changed forever.

The reality of COVID-19 will be remembered by the world and in history books. Its numbers are irreversible and its shadows, weepy.

Donna Cardwell aka “Mum” is gone, but never forgotten as many of your loved ones are also, around the world. I share my condolences with each and every person that has lost someone near and dear to them.

+ How long did it take you to write this book?

I started writing this book the day I came home from New York after J’s birthday trip that we cut short. You can read about that trip in my book. I’ll never forget it.

It took me about seven and a half weeks. For this book, the easiest part was writing. It was also an excellent stress reliever and gave me somewhere to put all the great memories I shared with Mum.

At a time when mental health resources were limited, I can’t ever say that I enjoyed writing this book.

What I can say is that I feel as though I commemorated Mum in the best way possible and also hopefully give women specifically, but also all people that are suffering through the COVID-19 pandemic, hope that they can come out of this with a newly gained strength, if and when they choose.

+ Why I wrote The Love, I Shared With The Mother Who Wasn't My Own, A 2021 COVID-19 Pandemic Memoir

I wrote this book to commemorate Donna Cardwell, who became known to me and my daughter, 'J' as Mum. A lot of the drive and foundational thinking I have come from Mum. I met her when I was 15 and she became the mother figure I could only dream of having. I started living with Mum after I turned 19. Instantly, she cared for me and J as if we were her own. She helped with everything pertaining to J. She shared some outstanding life lessons with me and gave me access to a network of caring and supportive individuals that I had relationships with only while she was here.

I miss Mum every day. She passed away on May 22, 2021, from COVID-19, a day I can never forget. The relationship we had, I'll never have again.

After losing Mum, I hit a low I can never again hit. Though my biological parents are still alive, I have never had a close relationship with them. I barely know who they are in most ways. Years have passed and they have missed multiple birthdays, often calling days after my birthday has passed, if even at all. I remember one time I counted five years in a row with no call from either of them, not even a text. I gave up hoping for their call the past three years. I got to five because it's hard not to take notice.

As you may know, journaling is a great way to relieve stress and get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. In the days after Mum's passing, I hit some undeniable lows. Amid those lows, even then, I knew I needed to pull myself up and get over it, somehow, some way. This is easier said than done when you are actually experiencing these types of lows. I have had dreams of writing since my twenties, but part of me has always been afraid of the critics. Losing Mum made me realize, if I don't pursue my dreams, they will silently die with me when my time here on earth is up. Through my pain, I have gained the strength to write: The Love I Shared With The Mother Who Wasn't My Own; A 2021 COVID-19 Pandemic Memoir and see it through its entire production and editorial process.

This book highlights some of the timeless memories I shared with Mum while she was here, the shock of suddenly losing her to COVID-19, the realizations I had in her passing, and the methods I use to live with her passing daily.

My condolences to all those who have lost a loved one from the COVID-19 pandemic. I know it's never easy to lose someone that you loved and cared about. And trust me, I know that the sheer suddenness of COVID-19 is something that you may never be able to overcome. I think the worst part of COVID-19 is the rapid ferocity it swoops in with. Often, you are left wondering if there was anything you could have done after you transferred the care of your loved one to the hospital system. There’s so much trust involved in that transfer. I have so many regrets about losing Mum. What I wouldn't give for one more moment or call with her.

I figured if I could share my story with the world and help families that have been affected by COVID-19, it was worth a shot!

+ What are you hoping to accomplish with this book?

I’ve had dreams of writing since my twenties. I think I was 23 when I thought to myself, “I have a story to tell at some point in my life.” I’ve met a lot of women in my travels who think because they have come from a certain past, they cannot design the future they desire. They allow their past to hold them back. I was that person once upon a time. There was a time in my life where I thought I would work at a FedEx Office for the rest of my days. So, I went and got tattoos and my Mum told me, “You’re going to regret that, Kimberly.” She was right, which I can admit today.

I remember the day I came home with a big “fearless” tattoo on my foot. Mum and all the girls gathered in the living room and Imani asked, “Kimberly, what would you do if you got a job where you had to show your feet?” Imani might have been about 15 at the time. Maya, Nia, Mum, and I all busted out laughing uncontrollably. Mainly because of how ridiculous it would be for anyone to have to show their feet at work. It was a good laugh.

When I was 26, I tried unsuccessfully to get the same feet tattoos, I now had one on each foot. I’ve heard the technology has gotten better over the past seven years. Anyways, Mum was right, I did regret those very tattoos. I had gotten those tattoos because, at one point in life, I didn’t think I could ever work in an office environment. I didn’t think I had those skills.

I had to realize that you can only do what you tell yourself. If you tell yourself you can’t, then you won’t. And if you think you can, then you will. When I thought I couldn’t ace the interview to get the office job I wanted at the time, I didn’t. When I knew I could ace the interview, that confidence was conveyed when I spoke and I did just that. Twice, I beat out more qualified candidates. One of the times, I hadn’t even obtained my GED yet. When I was working at that job, I was making more than a guy that was married with two sons in middle school and a mortgage payment. It wasn’t a lot, but it was the fact I had beat out people that had a higher education level than me at the time that made me realize that presentation is an equal stakeholder in accomplishment.

With this book, I want women to know that they can do anything they want in life, even after all the trauma they experienced from the COVID-19 pandemic. In life, we all experience things that have the potential to break us. I can only begin to tell you how lonely it is to come back to the state you have been born and raised in and realize how alone you feel because the one person that felt like home has been ripped away by COVID-19, but I guess that is what a pandemic does. It takes away the comfort of life as you once knew it.

The world is suffering from the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. Each day the rising death toll leaves families devasted from the loss of their loved ones in the moment, as well as over time when they are in the heaviest stages of their grieving process. I know I was once that family. A portion of the proceeds from this book will be benefiting a local charity here in Massachusetts that I was part of when I was at a low point in my life, Family Aid Boston. From the kind and caring professionals at this charity, I learned a different set of skills that carried me through a difficult time of need in my life.

Together with Family Aid Boston, I am hoping to help families stay housed during a difficult time in the world when we all are grieving the loss of our loved ones and looking for continued strength.